Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
