I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
