I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
