I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
