Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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