All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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