North Korea, Best Korea!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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