Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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