when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Randomize
