If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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