we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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