Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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