please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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