chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
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Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
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I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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