he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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