I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i think my cat just said my name.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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