I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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