Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize