hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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