Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize