I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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