Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
