she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
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