Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize