I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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