I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
