Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
