I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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