She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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