so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
