The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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