You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
