The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
