bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
