Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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