She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
