I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
