Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
