Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
