Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So squirting runs in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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