On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
