It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize