That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
