4 words: hood of his car
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
