I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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