I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
