was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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