my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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