Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
