Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
