he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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