fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
