She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
