this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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