he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
