I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
