i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Randomize
