found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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