The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's shark week go big or go home
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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