The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
